Hey everyone! I haven't written a blog in a while. I apologize. I honestly have no idea what to write though. I keep starting blogs, and then I just don't know how to finish the thought, or the thought never really had a "finish", or I was just writing because I felt I had to, since it has been so long since I posted last. So here I am, still not knowing what to blog about.
One of the things I have been kind of sad about for the World Race is that I won't have all of my old notebooks with me, with all of my old sermon notes and journal entries. I plan on copying over some of my favorites to a notebook that I will be taking with me, but it still is something that kind of bums me out. I mean, I'm not the same person I was when I wrote those things, whether it was 4 years ago, or last week, but I still like being able to read back over them to see what God has taken me through, and how he has taken me through it.
Getting stuck on this blogging thing turned me to one of my favorite stories in the Bible, as do most things. Matthew 9:27-30 says:
As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed Him, shouting, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" When He entered the house, the blind men approached Him, and Jesus said to them, "Do you believe that I can do this?" "Yes, Lord," they answered Him. Then He touched their eyes, saying, "Let it be done for you according to your faith!" And their eyes were opened.
Okay, I'm just going to completely pass the part where Jesus restores their sight. Not because it isn't important, or miraculous, or amazing, because it is all of those things, and more. I'm going to skip that part because I want to focus on the blind men. I'll probably come back and write something about healing a in a while. But I want to talk about these two men. Think for a second. Have you ever been blind? Have you ever tried to find someone while not being able to see? Have you ever had to find someone in a huge crowd while not being able to see? I don't know what this is like, but I imagine it is pretty difficult. Especially considering that everyone in this crowd was trying to get close to Jesus. Everyone. And these men persevere, and make their way to Jesus. Why?
Because they have faith. But here's another cool part. These men have never seen Jesus. They have never actually seen Him perform a miracle. There is no proof for them that Jesus can heal except what they hear people saying about Him. Of course it makes sense for the people who can see Jesus to be trying to get close to Him, but these two blind men have only what they hear to go off of. And even then, their faith is astounding.
They persist even though they haven't seen Him. They believe with their whole hearts that Jesus can make them see, and He does. We are the blind men. At first, we only have the stories of Jesus, written down in the Bible or other's testimonies, to know about Him. Once we open ourselves up to Him, we begin to have our own testimonies about Jesus that we can share, but at first we just know what others have told us. We can't see Jesus, but we need to trust Him and what He can do. And He isn't always going to answer us right away. These men had to follow and call out to Jesus for a while. We need to be pursuing Jesus with everything we have, with reckless abandon.
That's what I want. Faith like these two men. Because even though I can't physically see Jesus, I just have to keep pursuing, and He will continue to reveal Himself to me. He will continue to take away blindness so that I can see Him more and more clearly all around me.
I'm not sure where that all went. It kind of got away from me. Some of you have heard this from me before. Like I said, it's one of my favorites. Hopefully you stay encouraged to persevere through whatever you may need to. Jesus has you. Jesus loves you.
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:8-9
He persevered because he saw him who is invisible.
Hebrews 11:27
July 1st is in 101 days. Everyone keeps asking when I'm leaving on the World Race, and I keep saying the beginning of July, but I didn't realize how soon that is until now. 101 days! And this number fits in nicely with the next blog I was planning on writing. In looking around at other Racer's blogs, I've seen this fundraising idea a few times. 111 people donating $11 each, in 11 days. (Wouldn't it have been so much cooler if I had counted days 10 days ago, at 111 days? Yeah, I fail)
Anyways, that's what I would like to do. Starting at 101 days left, for the next 11 days, look for 111 people to donate just $11 each towards my World Race fund. Totally doable right? And if you're not already convinced...
What $11 will buy you:
About 2.5 gallons of gas
One movie ticket
3 - 4 drinks at Starbucks
11 things off the dollar menu at McDonalds
2 feet of sandwich from Subway
11 Redbox movie rentals
A crocheted beanie made by me ;)
What $11 will buy me:
3 days worth of food ($3.75 a day)
2 days worth of lodging ($5.25 a day)
3 days worth of public transportation ($4.00 a day)
11 countries. 11 months. If 111 people donate $11 each, that will be $1,221 more towards the ultimate goal of $15,500 needed for me to go on this trip. $1,221 in just 11 days! How crazy is that? But, our God is the God of crazy, of the seemingly impossible, of the miraculous. I've always heard people say, "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called." And I feel called. Called to go out into the world to serve and love the people I will encounter. All for the sake of Jesus. So, I believe that God will provide where I am lacking.
If you would like to donate, you can do so online by clicking on the "Support Me!" link to the left and following the instructions. You can also mail a check or cash (make sure to put my name in the memo line) to:
Adventures in Missions
P.O. Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
If you choose to donate to this, please message me or comment (it can be anonymously) so I can keep track!
I've been staring at this piece of paper for a while now. Actually, I've been playing with it all day. It's a page ripped out of a phonebook, nothing special, with information from windows to youth organizations in a town I don't live in. I came to possess this little scrap of paper a week ago during a situation I honestly never thought I would find myself in. A friend mindlessly handed it to me to hold, as it had been wrapped around a letter they were reading, used to hide the contents of the letter from being seen through the envelope it had been in. Nothing special. Just a scrap piece of paper. Like all the other strange objects people hand me, I silently put it in my purse and forgot about it.
Until this morning. This morning I found it while I was getting ready for church, tucked away at the bottom of my purse. I pulled it out, realizing where it had come from, and I was overwhelmed with the beauty of God's timing. Now, this situation I found myself in last week, it was timed perfectly. I had no idea it was happening either. God had been teaching me about letting go, about trusting him, and once I took a huge step in that, he provided right back. It reminded me that he knows what he is doing, that it's not up to me anyway. Sometimes things just happen to us, and there is always a reason. Always. It was beautiful.
This little piece of paper I've been playing with all day had the purpose of hiding what was to come. It was used specifically so no one could peek at what was going to happen next until it was time to know. It was one of those "keep this letter, don't read it, and pass it on when I let you know" kind of things. Very 3rd grade, but still a bit fun. And because everyone involved just let it happen, trusting that whatever was inside was important enough to wait for, God used this unexpected thing to teach me again that his timing will always be right. I don't know what his plan is, and if I don't know where I'm going, why do I keep trying to get there by myself?
It got me thinking, what other pieces of paper have I been trying to see through. Really? How many other envelopes have I been trying to open early, trying to see through before it was time to know what was inside? Why do I have such a difficult time trusting in God's timing? I'm coming to understand that I struggle with this because I like knowing. I like knowing what's going to happen, and when, and how. It's nice. I also have a hard time believing some of these things I am waiting for will actually happen. Like if I don't grab at possibilities now, it will never really happen for me.
I've been putting God in a box. I haven't been trusting. And again and again he shows me that he knows what is best, that his timing is always right. People always say that God never gives us more than we can handle, and I believe that's true, but I also believe there's more to it. God puts us in places and situations that will draw us closer to him. Our circumstances are always designed in order to make the closest relationship possible. It all happens to keep drawing us deeper and deeper into relying on him. Always. For everything. In everything. When he wants it to happen.
So I'm going to stop trying to peek in the envelopes. I'm going to just let those little scraps of paper do their jobs, and trust that they will be removed when they are supposed to be. It's not up to me, and when I trust God I'll always be safe. Not safe in the "bad things won't happen to me" kind of way, but safe in the way of always being where I'm supposed to be, knowing that God has a plan for me.
"I saw the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence." ~ Psalm 16:8-11
I'm a nanny, and the most frustrating part of my job right now is that one of the boys I watch is going through the "just" phase. Every time anything is asked of him, his answer is "Hold on, let me just ....." or "But I was just going to do .....". He knows what he is supposed to do, but he doesn't want to, so he justifies what he would like to do instead of listen. Do his homework? No, he was just looking for something that was missing last week. Clean up his toys? No, he was just going to get a drink since he is so incredibly thirsty. It doesn't really seem like much, but when that is all you hear all day, it starts to kind of bother you a bit.
And then tonight, I was starting to get my Bible and journal out to do the reading plan I've been going through, and I found myself doing the same thing. Hold on, I just need to write down the hours I worked this week. I just need to check something online. I just need to....... When I realized it, I was a little ashamed. Here I am, so caught up in how much it bothers me when this little boy says it about eating his broccoli, and then I say it to the God of the universe about spending time in his word. In his living word. In his presence. I didn't even know how to respond for a few minutes. All I could think was "I'm sorry".
Funny thing about God is that he tends to speak to me about something through several different ways. So when I realize that I justify other actions used to distract me from being in the word, one of the passages I end up reading has a little something to do with it.
From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!" Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever looses his life will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matthew 16:21-26
Jesus tells them that He is going to die, that what they need to do is know and accept that the way for God's will to be carried out is for Him to die, and then be raised from the dead. And all Peter hears is the die part. He hears that Jesus is going to die, and he starts to say, "But maybe we could just...." Peter was thinking on the things of men. If I'm thinking about all the other things I could be doing instead of spending time in the word, then I don't have the things of God in mind. I'm thinking of the things of men. And if I can't deny myself things, if Jesus calls me to something and I keep saying, "Hold on, let me just....", then I'm not picking up my cross to follow Him.
When I looked up "just" in the dictionary, when used as an adverb, it means doing something in the present, merely being, barely being, only doing, or asking for someone to pause while you do something. In the present, I want to be seeking God. I don't want to merely be living, barely following Jesus. I want to be so consumed by Him that I can't tell where I stop and He starts. I want to be following Jesus with everything. I don't want to put anything on pause. God's timing is perfect, mine isn't. I don't want Jesus to be "just" another part of my life. I want Him to be my whole life.
This morning I woke up unemployed. Tonight, I go to bed with two jobs. How great is God?! These past two months, I have applied for over 50 jobs, and that is not an exaggeration. I had applied for so many jobs that I ran out of places to apply in Gardnerville, and needed to begin looking in the San Francisco area instead. And, after 3 days of being in the Bay Area, and 4 interviews later, I have 2 jobs. And I'm so excited!
Two jobs, nannying for two different families throughout the week, and God provided. I was beginning to wonder why it was taking so long, but now I know. These children are fantastic. And this is the right fit.
"Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy." ~ Acts 14:17
God provides, and he knows the timing. He knows what is right, and it doesn't matter how much we try to get something the way we think it should be. If it isn't a part of his plan, it will wait until his timing. And it's always so much better that way. God knows what he's doing. I don't, which is hard for me to admit sometimes. He knows though, and I trust him. Yes, Jesus, I trust You.
P.S. Thanks Em Diehl for sharing this video last week :)
I have trouble picturing things geographically. It runs in the family. We are all just geographically inept. So, because of this, I decided to actually look up where each country I'll be going to is, so I have a real idea of where I will be traveling to. Then I decided that I wanted a map with just those countries highlighted, so I could be even more clear on exactly where I'll be going, but I had to make my own map for that. And then that map looked really cool, so I kept building on it, and this is where I got. Something about actually being able to see where it is I'll be going made it so much more real and exciting. I figured I would share it too, in case other people are as geographically challenged as I am.
I'm going on The World Race. No, that doesn't convey enough excitement. I'm going on The World Race!!!! Closer. But still, I don't think I can really convey just how excited I am about this through words on a screen. I mean, as I'm writing this, I'm smiling, and kind of bouncing up and down like I do when I'm really excited, or when I'm eating. That sort of happy dance that you can't really contain, but you have to because you are doing something else that requires you to sit still (sort of). So basically, I am going on The World Race, and I am ready to go. I'm not ready financially, not even a little bit, and I don't have any of the stuff I will need to take. I actually feel like I haven't gotten anything done. But my heart, my heart is ready to go.
My heart is ready to be out in the world, with people I don't know, in places I've never been, in languages I don't understand, sharing God's love and the hope that comes with what Jesus Christ has done for all of us. And I'm excited to see God in those people, because they will share him with me as much as I'll share him with them.
In leaving my last job interning at a Christian Camp, one of the pastors that we worked with sent each of us off with a Bible verse or two, to help encourage us as we moved on to what was next. He shared with me Romans 10:13-15,
"For, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'"
I feel sent, so I will go and preach. And my prayer is that when they hear the message, they will believe. That for everyone in my squad, since we are all sent, since we all have beautiful feet, that we would be able to step out in obedience and in faith that since we are sent and since we will preach, they will listen, and they will believe. And it doesn't have to be "preaching", like some big important sermon, with 5 main points and outlines and all of that. It could just be talking to them. Sharing our stories. Sharing our stories about Christ. About what He has done in us, so they can hear that He can do that in them too. Our feet are beautiful, and I can't wait to walk on those feet to wherever it is God would want me to be.
